Family Abuse often occurs because the abuser is extremely manipulative. An individual who is responsible for subjecting their loved ones to abuse may feel that they need to control everything. They may seek to influence their partner’s beliefs and behaviors for their own self gain. Often, abusive individuals will attempt to instill their own beliefs in their partner, and may use violence and family abuse as a method of manipulation. Perpetrators will use a variety of different techniques to manipulate an individual’s behaviors, through both beliefs, as well as actions. When abuse in the family is occurring, the individual who is responsible for the abuse will utilize a repetitive cycle of brutality and manipulation in order to achieve their goals and establish power.
Once an abuser brutalizes his victim they may take part in activities to prove his remorse. It is common for an individual who is partaking in family abuse to beg for forgiveness for their actions and to shower their partner with flowers and gifts. They may promise that they will never allow abuse in the family to occur again, and they may constantly ensure their partner that they will seek counseling in order to help change their violent behavior. Oftentimes, perpetrators of family abuse will try to gain sympathy from their victims and justify their actions by explain the pressure that they are facing, or by talking about traumatic childhood events – in many cases, learned behavior. A victim of abuse may begin to feel sorry for their abuser and may believe that their partner will change. Therefore, an individual may choose to remain in an abusive relationship. In some cases, an abuser may threaten the victim’s children or attempt to use the children as leverage in order to obtain power.
A manipulative abuser will not only seek to control the actions and the beliefs of their victim, but will try to influence the ideas of people around them. A perpetrator may try to convince friends and family that their victim is crazy, paranoid, and delusional. They may make up stories about how their victim is the individual who causes abuse in the family. An individual who is responsible for family abuse will lie and beguile in order to ensure that no one discovers that they are causing abuse in the family. They will manipulate their victim so that they are in complete control and to guarantee that their victim will not try to escape the abusive relationship.
Often, an individual who remains isolated from friends, family, and social gatherings may partake in family abuse. An individual who is isolated from contact with other people will become solely dependent on their partner. Therefore, they may fear losing their spouse so intensely that they subject their partner to violence. By brutalizing their partner they are instilling fear in their victim; a perpetrator will threaten their victim’s life should the victim try to escape. Due to concern for their safety, a victim of family abuse may not try to flee their harmful environment. An abuser who is isolated often does not want their partner to experience socialization with people other then themselves; this is often due to unhealthy jealousy and possessiveness, as well as insecurity. An individual who is being subjected to manipulation and abuse should seek assistance as soon as possible.